Memoirs and Mullings

First page, a rough day, reframing, and moving forward

I’ve been talking about writing a book for ages! Really, there have been 3 or 4 bubbling about in my mind the last few years.

Today, though. Today I started my memoirs.

Why today?

The backstory

It’s been a rough day. One full of wondering what my life’s purpose is supposed to be. I thought I knew. Then I got confused. Again.

I was supposed to start leading a grief group coaching series on Monday.
No one registered for it.

It was going to be my “signature” series. I spent many hours over the last few months pondering the topics and creating a journal/workbook just for the program.

So, the feeling that no one needs me and the thoughts surrounding that haven’t been good. I’ve spent many hours in bed today, something I haven’t done since Carl died.

The cats have been quiet while taking turns lying in bed with me. They didn’t even call me out for being an hour late with their dinner. It’s good they still need me.

I finally got myself out of bed to make dinner. While I was trying to eat it, all of a sudden, the title for a book came into focus. I even saw the image of the cover.

Water bottle filled, I settled into my desk chair and turned on the laptop.

First page

Those first 247 words flowed out.

And then I realized what a mess I’m working with in my brain!

The questions:

What are you doing?
Why are you doing this?
Who cares?
Is anyone really going to read this?

Good gravy! So I stopped writing and came over here instead.
Here is where I can write and maybe get some of these thoughts out of my head.
And work on some reframing.

The maple tree in my front yard. Can you decode the metaphor?

New thoughts

First of all, I need to remember that just because I’m a life and health coach, just because I know God loves me and wants His best for me, and just because I have a host of people who love me, I am not immune to sad, dark thoughts and behaviors.